For anyone considering Banana WAG life here’s the 2025 roster.

Carol: Knocking on public bathroom doors should be a crime. Just jiggle the handle, test it out, if it’s locked, I’m in here. If it’s not, and we make accidental eye contact mid-squat, that’s my bad, and yeah, it will be weird. But please, I beg of you, do not knock. I’m just a girlie behind this door. I’m now having a mini heart attack like I’m illegally using the bathroom. The knock hits and suddenly I’m 19, crouched behind a washer/dryer at the Chi Phi house, ready to sprint from the cops after tossing my Bud Light in a bush. I suddenly forget how to speak words. Seconds feel like hours as I try to scramble to sputter out a pitiful “just a sec!” or “yes!” or “hold on”. It’s somehow embarrassing (??) that I’m in here, doing what is meant to be done? Please. Make it stop.

🎤 People are mad about Sabrina Carpenter’s album cover. But, like, are you being serious? This is a woman who debuts a new sex position at every concert, and this photo is what sends everyone spiraling? Anyone taking it at face value is missing the point. It’s not a cheap stunt, it’s calculated. It’s doing exactly what she intended: causing a stir, on her terms. Hear me out: it’s giving Monica Lewinsky on Call Her Daddy. It’s giving “I own this now, you don’t.” It’s giving “I control the narrative.”

Women have been hypersexualized for decades. But the second we flip the script, when we lean into it for our own gain, on our own timeline, in our own artistic expression…we’re still the problem? We literally can’t win. That’s not a ditzy pop princess. That’s a woman who knows exactly how you see her and she’s using it like a weapon. As a self proclaimed hyper-feminist and girlie raised on Christina’s Dirrty, I’m saying “ring the alarm and I’m throwing elbows” to anyone coming for SC this week.

Skylar: 👰‍♀️ Aaron Rodgers is… married? Have no idea who his wife is? Don’t worry - literally no one does.

The NFL QB turned Netflix ayahuasca philosopher (Enigma, anyone?) has a dating history that reads like a 2015 Maxim Hot 100 list - Olivia Munn, Danica Patrick, Shailene Woodley. And more than one of those women has hinted that dating him was...a journey. Like, “don’t date him, girl” energy.

So when a recent Deuxmoi post claimed someone spotted Rodgers with “his wife,” internet sleuths (and me) had questions. Especially since he casually mentioned having a girlfriend back in December 2024 - and then recently told the world he got married “a few months ago.”

But here’s the kicker (or punter, because 🏈): she’s so private, no one knows her name, she’s not on social media, and the internet has zero receipts. Which, in 2025? That’s either love… or witness protection.

🩵 Men’s mental health has been on my mind this week (Please tell me I’m not the only one who got the pun here.) 

I saw the trend where guys are calling their friends just to say goodnight, and it’s somehow both adorable and deeply depressing. Like, why is it funny to watch a man say “goodnight” to another man? Because…they don’t.

Emotional vulnerability is still treated like a setup for a joke. My boyfriend literally showed me a tweet the other day that said, “guys basically think you can solve all your problems by getting jacked and making more money.” And they do, they really do think that.

This explains why every time a guy decides maybe he needs therapy, he… starts a podcast.

“Make yourself at home.”

You’ve heard the line. Usually uttered by a friend or family member the second you walk in their front door, and suddenly you’re imagining how you’d redecorate. That end table? Absolutely not. Where are the throw pillows? Can we get a candle (or five) in here?

So here’s the thing - making yourself at home doesn’t mean you Marie Kondo their bookshelf. It means being the kind of guest who doesn’t leave a trail of literal or emotional crumbs behind. 

Skylar here, and I wanted to know - how exactly I can do that. 

So I did a deep dive into the unspoken etiquette of houseguests: shared space hierarchies, thank-you gift politics, and whether or not you’re allowed to casually sip from their wine stash or borrow their car (spoiler: probably not). 

Want to know what else I learned? 👉 Read the whole article here

Carol here. I grew up a proud Chessy stan (denim shirt for life) but these days? I relate to Meredith Blake more than I care to admit. Staying young and beautiful isn’t a criminal offense but it is a full-time job.

My skincare deep dive series continues with tox doses, laser education, and filler details. Bonus content: photo evidence of day 1-5 post laser treatment, my exact tox dose, and I give six years of face receipts. You know you wanna see.

We recently asked you for feedback on the newsletter, and if you haven’t given us your thoughts yet, please don’t make us beg. We wanted to know what other sections might intrigue you, and this week we are [taste] testing one out. Trader Joes Snacks.

This week’s snack hack is inspired by a recent trip to Trader Joe’s where I spotted a girlie shopping list on the top of the trash. And honestly, same. 

In a Sunday meal prep rut? Ready to feel like a gourmet chef?

Arugula + a little olive oil + peach slices + burrata + hot honey drizzle. All avail at TJoes (and honestly everywhere).

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Come chat with us in person by the lake on 6/19 at the Wine Cottage.