God forbid a girl have priorities.

Alright, not to repeat a toxic pattern, but we’re once again asking: do you like us? 😇 Maybe you’ve been too shy to give feedback. Maybe you’ve never made it all the way to the footer. Either way, this is your (last!) chance (for now) to tell us how we can make this better.

Otherwise, we’re just going to assume you love us, we’re perfect, and nothing needs to change.

Did you know? National Friendship day is the first Sunday in August, so having a night out with the girlies on 7/31 at Seaboard Southend might just be the perfect way to celebrate. 

Skylar: 

✈️🧳 Extra Baggage. I love the cute little game I play when traveling - where I wait until the very last second to stuff my crossbody into my bigger bag right before approaching the gate agent. I keep it in there for the six minutes it takes to walk down the jet bridge and find my seat, where I promptly take it back out and hold it like a normal, emotionally-attached person.

Nothing has changed.

I get the need to stop people from boarding with two duffels and a rogue cello case, but my crossbody? It’s on my person! It’s practically clothing at this point. So let’s all agree to look the other way and spare me the condescending speech about how many personal items I’m allowed.

I know those gate agents get off on telling a basic bitch like me to consolidate. But I swear, the man-spread from 12E will be more disruptive to this flight than my little Lululemon belt bag.

⚾ I’ll be the first to admit that I cry a lot, but I was in real tears the other day reading about Arizona Diamondbacks player Ketel Marte, who broke down after being heckled by a White Sox fan in Chicago. The fan allegedly made a comment about Marte’s mother, who died in a car accident in 2017.

OK, White Sox,  just because you have the Pope doesn't mean you have holy immunity to act like a dick.

The MLB and Marte’s team took appropriate action, and the fan has been banned, but I’m still upset. What compels someone to be that cruel? And where is the line - between cancel culture going too far and a world where people are actually held accountable for being casually, needlessly cruel? I don’t always know where that line is, but I do know this: some things do deserve consequences. 

🕶️ The devil wears Prada and she’s retiring. WHAT.

After 37 years as Editor-in-Chief of Vogue, Anna Wintour is officially stepping down, and honestly? It feels... weird. Even if you’re not fluent in Anna lore (or her iconic bob), you probably know that character Meryl Streep played, inspired by her, who made us all fear a raised eyebrow, revere a perfectly timed “That’s all,” and spend too much on a steak at Smith and Wollensky. 

So what happens now? Who will sit front row next to Kim Kardashian, helm the almighty September issue, and convince the rest of us that we can tell the difference between cerulean and a belt in  “a pile of stuff”?

(Yes, I know most of that was Meryl, but it feels personal to ANNA)

Carol: Anna’s choice is no mystery to me. Anna Wintour looked at Lauren Sánchez on Vogue’s cover and whispered, “Even I can’t fix this.” Money, and I do mean all the money in the known universe, can’t buy class (or a good injector, a good girlie never gatekeeps) and if that tragic grey carpet didn’t confirm it, I don’t know what will.

I don’t know why I was shocked by the guest list, but I was. Kardashians, fine, yes got it. Tom Brady? Why is he there? Oprah? Idk why I was a little mad? What do they all have in common outside of money? Can someone tell me why Leo looked like he was escaping the witness protection program in every shot? I can’t wait for Usher’s Confessions Part III after this weekend.

Anyway, someone tell Jon Hamm all his friends and neighbors are out of their house for the weekend.

But the real stars of this Venetian fever dream? The protestors and artists throughout the city. In an age of performative cynicism, where we all spend the weekend bragging about our thrift store find while declining the “fewer boxes” options on our Amazon orders, these protestors are living proof that maybe we haven’t completely given up.

Second place for me goes to Extinction Rebellion’s Thursday protest. I typically hate stilts (they give strong mascot energy), but somehow they perfectly captured Lauren’s cheekbones and my internal screams in one go.

First place, though, belongs to the hero who plopped a Bezos dummy onto a motorized Amazon box and floated him down the canal, fists stuffed with fake cash. It’s petty, it’s hilarious, it’s absolutely perfect. A chaotic reminder that even if we’re spiraling, we’re still capable of brilliance and maybe our screams aren’t completely silent in the null void.

In other news…

🎤 Did I google ‘do you have to be a tight end to attend Tight End University?’ this week? I cannot confirm or deny.

Your Swifthood certification this week is basically determined by two things:
1️⃣ How many angles your TikTok algorithm served you of Taylor’s surprise set in Nashville at TEU.
2️⃣ How convinced you are that you wouldn’t have needed Tay Tay to write down the chords to Shake It Off to be her fill in guitarist.

Have you ever been served an algorithm ad so out-of-pocket you genuinely start wondering what you said out loud that your phone decided to internalize and respond to with a product?

This week, a girlie got served an ad for a pill organizer that doubles as a wristlet.

Her comment? “Frankly, if I need to take my pill wristlet out with me and nothing else, it may be my time to go.” 

Facebook Marketplace can feel as dark as a bad date, but just like a dating app spiral, sometimes you have to send a screenshot to a friend.

Such was the case this week when a girlie shared this “good looking chair.” Honestly, I have no idea what the intended design or use case is, apparently, you can “take it apart however you want”? Chaos. But we respect a confident queen who can rock a prairie print and call it a vibe. It’s giving Little House on the Assembly Required.

Carol here: my favorite part of Facebook Marketplace posts? The things BEHIND the item in question. Why do you have so much paint, a medical stool, AND this chair? I’m both scared and intrigued.

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Can’t wait to see you at our next live show 7/31 at Seaboard Southend!